It’s difficult to know that you did your best to raise your child/children up the right way, gave them all the love in the world, made sure they had everything they want and need and reassured them that no matter what, you’d always be there for them whenever they needed, and then one day you discover their dead body hanging from the ceiling.
Where did I go wrong? What did I miss? What wasn’t she telling me that affected her so much she thought she didn’t have any other choice? All these questions you may ask yourself never knowing the answer to any because she’s gone! 

At 15,16,17 your life can’t be that hard that it has you thinking about committing suicide. So many people are going through a tough time just like you are and yet, they still find a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Baby, you still have your whole life ahead of you, why would you want to cut it short! This”phase” that you’re going through is only temporary and soon you’ll get past it. As they say “This too shall pass”. You won’t always be where you are now.

You think that doing this is your way out? But what happens to me, your mum, who carried you inside of me and took care of you when you were sick, wiped your tears, stayed up late at night when you were a baby because you couldn’t sleep! How am I supposed to feel, what am I supposed to think! Now you have me second guessing myself, thinking that somewhere along the lines I did something wrong for this to happen. 

One thing I do know. If you feel like for some reason you really can’t talk to me about what’s going on with you, know this. God is always there for us, he never leaves us not forsakes us and his word is true! Call on him at anytime and tell him how you feel even though he already knows! Don’t let what you’re going through take full control of your life. You are in charge of your own happiness! Always remember that!

And for anyone out there struggling with depression or mental illness. Don’t take things into your own hands! Ask for help! Seek counseling! Reach out to somebody! Don’t think nobody can help you! 


2 thoughts on “Suicide”

  1. I’ve been through this. At 13 because of my abusive mom I tried to end my life. Thought anywhere would be better than living with her. And at 26 (I’m 29) was almost successful that last time but obviously I’m here for a reason…for a purpose. Depression is serious as well as any other mental disorder. Something that outside people don’t understand. But what I can say is since I’ve been walking with Christ, my life is becoming better everyday 🙏🏾

    Liked by 1 person

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