This picture above ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ is the definition of ME!  This is who I am!  I care about people more than people care about me!

The people that are the closest to me are the furthest from me….. if you know what I mean.  The ones I expect to be there for me whenever I need a shoulder always seems to be nowhere in sight.  I try to be there for people when they need me to be.  I try to help people out of the goodness of my heart.  And what do I get…..NOTHING!!!!

At times I just feel like bawling my eyes out!!  I just wish there was somewhere I could go and scream to the top of my lungs because God alone knows how much I’ve wanted to do just that.  I just want a way to let out all of my frustrations without a care in the world!  Where are they??!! Where are the ones that are supposed to always have my back??!!  Instead I have to rely on people that aren’t my blood…. but then again, family doesn’t always mean blood related.

I want THEM!!  I look around at other people who have that and I want it so bad!!  I don’t like the fact that I feel jealous of people that actually have it but I do.  I tolerate the bullshit more than I probably should and I always keep quiet.  It’s always what they want and I think by now it should go both ways.  It should be a two way street!

Sometimes I feel like a bother to others and Lord knows that’s the last thing I want to be to anyone.  I just want someone to listen to what I have to say.  To see that I’m hurting so bad and just want it to stop.  I don’t know what to do.  I sit here writing this and I’m literally fighting back the tears that are filling my eyes because I don’t want to let these tears flow for anyone to ask what’s wrong with me…..simply because the ones that I want to talk to aren’t here.

Despite me saying that I want someone to listen to me, I’ve never been the type to just tell any and everyone my business.  I have certain people that I talk to but as I said, I don’t want to be a nag to anyone and if I messaged or called already and you were busy, I’m not going to keep harassing you.  I’ll wait for you to hit me up.  If not then I keep it in!  Like I always do.


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